Update: My 4 1/2 year old daughter (and soccer)

2021.09.19 16:57 CapnJPants Update: My 4 1/2 year old daughter (and soccer)

Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/sportspsychology/comments/phz8yt/suggestions_for_my_4_12_year_old_daughte?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Thank you to everyone who commented on this. Since I first posted we've had a few practices and a few games that had similar problems. Yesterday my daughter decided to finally play and she had so much fun. It seems that at least for now she's resolved whatever anxiety was keeping her from participating. I wanted to leave a list of things that my wife and I did.

  1. At one point we threatened that she couldn't go to a friend house if she didn't participate. This was early on and after we talked decided to back out on that threat. It's never sat well with me to create punishments that weren't in some way connected to the 'bad behavior'. That threat was placed and removed so quickly I don't think it had any effect.
  2. She's wanted a specific type of doll for a few months now. We told her that if she participated in all of the games and practices we'd get it for her. She talks about that a lot, so I think it's had some effect. The problem is 'participation' was such a grey area and it's a very long term goal for such a little person. So after she refused to participate in one of the games (after we had made that deal), I felt like the only thing we reinforced was failure. We've softened the qualifications, so she's still on track to get the doll. I think our problem here was the original goal. Set small, achievable, measurable goals.
  3. The prior two were before I posted here. We talked to her about Elsa in Frozen 2 and how queen Elsa had to try over and over again to get over the sea. That didn't really seem to click with her. She hasn't really talked about it much. My wife did make up a silly story about a pickle that perseveres and that seemed to stick because she talks about plickle the pickle sometimes.
  4. We talked with her about how soccer is supposed to be fun, and she doesn't have to worry about how well she does. This, btw, is completely true because the league we have her in doesn't keep score for any games (even the teenagers). After the game we don't talk about who won or lost. We just talk about what each person did good. This seemed to click with her a little bit.
  5. After one game, she told me that she was really sad because she wanted to play that game. I had invited her to play multiple times and she chose not to play. So I guess one of the things my daughter doesn't understand is that her actions have consequences? I mean that seems like something obvious to me, but it dawns on me that I haven't sat down and talked to her about that before. So, I've been having some discussions with her about how choices can effect how we feel. I ask her what happens when she eats too much candy, she feels sick. What happens when she's mean to her sister, she feels bad. How does she feel when she give someone a hug, good. How does she feel when she chooses to play soccer, good. How does she feel when she chooses not to play soccer, bad. So, I asked, why don't you play soccer? She just looked at me with a weird look in her eyes and said, "I don't know". And she sat quietly for the rest of the ride.
The next game (yesterday), she was still a bit hesitant to play at first. But after a few minutes she asked to come in. She did so well. She went after the ball, she got knocked down, she got up. She was just a normal little girl having fun. I actually had to get a bit firm with her at one point because she didn't want to sub out.
Anyway, we've had a victory.
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2021.09.19 16:57 SouravKSahu How do I confess something to my mum calmly? without making her angry?

My mother is good and all but... I do have some things in which I feel like my mother is a bit strict and I always try to say that it's not the case or I don't like it. For example, I have a little 11yrs old brother and he always stalks me whenever I am watching somethings personal on my phone/PC like Reddit which I don't want him to see, he always tries to see those, and whenever I say him to go away, he says "wHy aRe yOu aCtInG lIkE yOu hAvE gRoWnUp? yOu cAn'T kEeP sEcReTs fRoM tHiS AgE!!! and always tries to snatch my phone to see it. I go and tell my mother about it and she says "He's just you brother, he should be allowed to see what you are seeing, he is no stranger" bruh mum, there is something called privacy and I don't want to show everything to my brother. I tried arguing about this one day and she got very angry by this and began to chase me for beating. also, I asked her opinion about the privacy of a child/teen like me and she said children don't need to keep privacy with parents. and I know, we should share our thoughts with our parents but there are certain things which I wanna keep in myself only and not share with anyone and I tried about speaking with her about that, but she just doesn't agree with me and says I am too small. so how do I confess to her about certain things without making her angry so that she would agree with me?
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2021.09.19 16:57 AceisMySon How Could It Be Dealt With

Simon's recent blunder really threw Martina under the bus, and for those not immersed in the storyline, she's the bad guy.
I feel like Simon stepped out of line by using the joint business channel as basically a smear campaign against her, and to garner sympathy for himself and his new ventures.
Do you think Martina could talk to their lawyer about this? It's one thing if a divorced couple shares a business platform and posts stuff for income, but it's an entirely other thing if they use it to basically attempt a coup and to bury their partner.
At this point should Martina just make a video that says "Hey guys, I know this is tough, but we're getting divorced, and if it's still hard to tell by how we interact publicly, ill clarify,, we have no hopes of getting back together. This channel will always be here as an archive for you all, and maybe we'll post things for business here and there,but if you really want content from us, you should follow our individual channels or platforms."
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My only known issue is PCOS, but now my period started today after stopping provera on Friday, (TMI)and even though I am not bleeding a lot there’s some big clots coming out. They look like blood mixed with tissue.
Is this normal? I’m now starting to worry something else is wrong and we’re just wasting our money with even starting this whole IVF process.
I’ve had some clots in the past but those were relatively smaller than these.
Sorry, just need to ask as this process is driving me insane.
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These are 10 great home fitness equipment!!
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Do you run to objectives quickly? Do you hang back? Do you follow a group? Do you lead a group?
Any perspectives would be greatly appreciated!
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